


What Would Napoleon Do?

by georgiamagnolia



Series: SIN-SPIRATION [4]
Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen, Mission Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiamagnolia/pseuds/georgiamagnolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A role reversal doesn't sit so well...</p><p>~look at me, young men~ Carmina Burana</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Would Napoleon Do?

“Provide a distraction, will you? I can get the blueprints if you keep the receptionist occupied.”

“This is not my usual role, why are you volunteering me for it?”

“She seems to have taken a shine to you.”

“How can you tell?”

***

Illya surreptitiously checked his watch for the third time. The girl behind the counter didn’t notice and he wondered why he even tried to hide his impatience. He should be sneaking around the office upstairs while his partner was making nice with this baby bird in THRUSH training, but here he was, doing his best to be charming. It grated on his nerves.

“Don’t you think so?” She was chattering on, not even waiting for a reply, which was good as he had lost all interest. She was telling him some story about her breakup with her fiancé, the point of which was that she was keeping the ring if he understood her correctly. “And then I told him that there was no way he was going to give my ring to some Janey come lately that he replaced me with, oh no, and anyway, it had to be sized especially for me, you see how small my fingers are? He’ll never find another girl with hands as small as mine and resizing it up for some cow he ends up with will just ruin it and so…” she kept right on, and Illya stopped pretending he was adjusting his cuffs to check his watch. She didn’t notice.

Napoleon came into the lobby and Illya could tell by the way he half skipped in the door that he had just been at a dead run, the building must not have been as empty as the receptionist had thought. He turned back to see that the girl was reaching for something under the counter that separated them.

“Ah uh, none of that now, just come out from behind the counter and keep your hands up where I can see them.” Napoleon had drawn his weapon and was waving her toward the middle of the room.

“Oh! Are you going to take me hostage or something? I used to be a teller at a bank and that happened once and…” when she turned toward Napoleon, Illya reached out and tapped her once on the side of the head with two fingers, hard. She slumped and he caught her, picking her up and putting her on the couch near the counter.

“Did you get the blueprints before you attracted the attention of the locals?”

“Yes, and any moment now they should be finding the trip wire and finding themselves delayed, so let’s get out while the getting is still good.”

“Best idea I’ve heard all day.”

“What did you do to her?”

“A trick I learned from a stage magician, some people are more susceptible to it than others. He used it to demonstrate hypnotism, it works fine to subdue the unsuspecting as well.”

They hurried from the building and when they were in the car and safely miles from the THRUSH outpost, Napoleon turned to his partner as he drove.

“So this trick seems helpful.”

“It is.”

“I’ve never seen you use it before. Or would I remember if I had?”

“It wouldn’t work on you, your personality and training are not the type.”

Napoleon raised a brow.

“Your particular brand of self esteem prevents you from being taken in or being surprised by such an action, well, except where dangerous blonde THRUSH agents are concerned. You should really be more careful of Angelique, you know. A tool like this in her hands would be devastating.” Napoleon started to say something but Illya went on, “I realize you think she is devastating enough already.”

“My ‘brand of self esteem’?” Napoleon bristled a bit.

Illya shot him a look and went back to watching the road for anyone following. “You will admit that you have a very strong sense of self, yes?”

“I suppose I do.”

Illya nodded as if that explained everything.

Several minutes passed while Napoleon reviewed everything they had learned about the receptionist at the THRUSH cover business they had been stealing blueprints from in broad daylight. “Your little bird seemed to have a pretty strong sense of self.”

“She was self involved, something different entirely.”

Again Napoleon was quiet for a while, then, “Was that a backhanded compliment, partner mine? Most of our coworkers would describe me as plenty self centered, you know.”

“Because most of them are unaware that you have the goods to back it up, Napoleon.”

“Thank you, Illya. I think?”

“I think you are welcome.” Illya was quiet and then continued, “And next time you are going back to your usual job of distracting the staff while I sneak into the lair of the beast. If I had to listen to her brag for five more minutes about cheating her boyfriend out of his savings for a diamond ring and then dumping him, I was going to have to track him down and send him a congratulations card.”

Napoleon only grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Pride


End file.
